Ides of March: Into the Sarlacc

I have to admit, I never thought I would ever use a Star Wars reference in my entire life. I know very little about the trilogy (or however many there are now). I had to use Google for the title of this article. I had no idea what the name of that pit that people get thrown into (or some clumsy ones fall into) in the desert. You know, the flower-like pit thing with the teeth, the one that digests its prey over the course of a thousand years. So I searched ‘star wars pit digest 1000 years.’ It’s called a sarlacc. And there’s entirely too much information about it on the internet. In fact, (since I really know so little about Star Wars, but I like to keep the column themed) every reference in this article will come straight from a Google search (look for my search term citations in parentheses).

The part of the movie I do remember though is when Jabba the Hut's henchmen seem in control of everything, ready to make Luke & Co. walk the plank to their long and painful floral death, when all of a sudden the tables are turned when Luke pulls off some crazy Jedi/acrobat stuff and the henchmen end up as sarlacc grub. So which teams have been tossed into the sarlacc, destined to deal with the agony that is their season as they slowly dissolve in the stomach of a fake monster invented by George Lucas thirty years ago? Which once “good” teams are falling into the depths of mediocrity and out of the tournament? Which once proud and touted teams, here on February 11th, have had their tables turned on them and now have no or little hope of making the tournament? Let’s have a look!


Notre Dame
Ah yes, the Fighting Irish. As conference play began they were ranked tenth in the country. Now they aren’t even tenth in their conference. Things really could not be going any worse for Mike Brey’s team, not even if there was another Kyle McAlarney drug suspension. They’ve lost seven in a row, usually with Luke Harangody chiming in with roughly 25 points and 15 rebounds and no one else on the team doing anything offensively (or defensively). So, the root of the problem is that none of Harangody’s supporting cast has done anything to help the team. How bad is it? Well the irony was delicious when Harangody only scored 5 points against UCLA in a 26 point loss last Saturday. And guess what? His teammates finally decided to show up! Tory Jackson had 17 points and Kyle McAlarney had 16. Couldn’t they all coordinate showing up at the same time so they could maybe win a game? That’s about as ironic as um, whatever these people are talking about here (‘star wars irony’). Notre Dame has a near impossible task to even try making it back to .500 in the Big East. Maybe they can work on a new home winning streak if they get a chance to host a game in the NIT.

Georgetown
Georgetown was ranked eighth in the country coming into Big East play (and if you guessed that they aren’t even eighth in their conference, you’re right!). The Hoyas have lost 6 of their last 7 games, with their lone win coming against the imposing team that is The State University of New Jersey (that’s Rutgers, they aren’t really that good). Why has this team fallen so far so fast? I personally thought Jeremiah Rivers' transfer to Indiana would make them a better team, I guess I stand partially corrected (there's no proof that they wouldn't be 0-11 in the Big East if he was still there). Georgetown has proven itself to be a first half team. In their last four losses, against Seton Hall, Marquette, and twice against Cincinnati, the Hoyas have led or been tied at the half. But guess what? They still aren’t totally kaput. They sit at 4-7 in the conference (that’s 11th) and still hold onto a solid RPI (38). They would need to get back to .500 in Big East play. Can they? They will face four more ranked teams this season, so I wouldn’t count on it.

St. Mary’s
A week and a half ago St. Mary’s was ranked in the top 20. Then Patty Mills broke his hand. They’ve lost 3 of their last 4 since then, including a bad loss at Santa Clara on Saturday. Is it a one man team? Yes and no. They have quality players but Mills is not only a scorer, but does a fantastic job of running the offense. The Gaels are out of the tournament if it starts today, but Mills is due back just before the conference tournament, meaning that they may very well win the tournament and get an automatic bid. They were absolutely taking it to Gonzaga in Spokane before Mills went down. If Diamon Simpson and Omar Samhan help St. Mary’s get by alright in the WCC until Mills can get back, and then play spectacularly with him around, there is still very much a glimmer of hope for an at-large bid. Consider them the Boba Fett of the teams mentioned here, they have the possibility to be eaten by a sarlacc and still come out alive (‘escape sarlacc’).

Kentucky
Jodie Meeks scored more points than an entire Big 10 team in one game and suddenly Kentucky exploded onto the scene as a force to be reckoned with in the SEC. Then two weeks ago twenty-fourth ranked Kentucky went into Oxford and lost to Ole Miss, setting off a three game losing streak that includes two losses in Rupp Arena to South Carolina and Mississippi State. This team has two scorers in Jodie Meeks and Patrick Patterson, each of whom have scored anywhere from 15 to 28 points in those losses. The Wildcats problem is very much related to the problem of Notre Dame’s downfall: a lack of support. The third leading scorer in each of those losses scored, 12, then 8, then 7 points. That won’t cut it when the team is giving up an average of 76 points in each of those losses. Unlike Notre Dame though, Kentucky has two solid scorers this season, and the benefit of playing in the SEC, but they do face a tough remainder of their conference schedule [Edit: Kentucky just beat Florida last night on a fadeaway three by Jodie Meeks...and then fouled Florida's Nick Calathes as he shot a three for the tie. Calathes missed all three free throws. Wow. I'm still sticking with the fact that they have bad losses and a tough schedule ahead].

Baylor
Baylor started the season 12-1. They were even ranked for a few weeks. Now they’re 3-6 in the Big 12. Baylor has the scorers in Curtis Jerrells, Kevin Rogers and LaceDarius (yes, that’s his real first name) Dunn coming off the bench. What they do have though is a defense that would rival Big 12 football teams. If you don’t follow college football, I’m referring to the fact that their defense is…lacking. In their last six losses they have given up 75 or more points. Not only would that kind of defense rival a Big 12 football team, but it’s about as useful as Reagan’s crazy “Star Wars” missile defense program of the 80s (the SDI, and okay, so I should’ve thought of that one on my own, but thank you ‘star wars defense’) or the Chewbacca Defense, were it to be used in real life (got that one on my own).

We’ve reached the point in the season where the downfall of these teams is beyond a mere hiccup or rough patch. These five teams were firmly considered tournament locks not even a month ago. Now their seasons’ have spiraled out of control like that ship when Anakin carries Obi-Wan to the ship’s bridge (‘star wars spiral out of control’) in Episode III. Alright, I have no idea what that reference is even talking about so I’m stopping while I’m ahead. The point? These teams have crashed hard over the last few weeks. I hope they have good insurance because they’re all just about total losses (Maybe from the Tattooine Planetary Insurance Company? They really have that in Star Wars [‘star wars insurance’]? You have got be kidding me).


This Week's Notable Performers (International Edition!)

The 'Gody v. Griffin Battle
Griffin - Griffin gets the nod this week, almost by default. He had 16 and 14 against Texas A&M and then 26 and 12 against Colorado. 'Gody? I hope he's not mailing it in already, although I'm sure he's pretty frustrated with his supporting cast. He had 5 points, 1 rebound, 4 turnovers and 1 shellacking at UCLA.

Hasheem Thabeet (Connecticut) - I had the chance to drive down to Storrs on Saturday to see the 7'3" Tanzanian take on Michigan. He didn't disappoint with 17 points, 12 boards and 6 blocks. UConn also responded to the challenge of a fired up Michigan squad that once led by as much as 8 late in the first half, until Stu Douglass missed a layup that would have stretched the lead to 10, That was the only mandate UConn needed to storm back for a win.
Jerome Jordan (Tulsa) - Jordan, the Caribbean native, makes his second appearance in this part of the column. After a few sluggish games he bounced back nicely with 22 points and 14 rebounds for the Golden Hurricane (how that name applies to Tulsa I have no idea) in a win over UTEP.
Soloman Alabi (Florida State) - The tall Nigerian freshman scored 17 points, 9 rebounds, and 5 blocks in the Seminoles upset of Clemson on Saturday. He even hit a jumper late in the second half to put Florida State up for good.

Alfred Aboya (UCLA) - Aboya, originally from Cameroon, led UCLA with 19 points and added 7 rebounds. He also shut down Luke Harangody on the defensive end as the Bruins dismantled of Notre Dame on Saturday.

Related Posts by Subject