We Interrupt this Marriage to Bring you…Fantasy Football Season - days to go 135

[Editor's Note: With NFL and College Football in full swing, guest-columnist Hayley Rosner takes a look at how to cope with your spouse's fantasy sports addiction.]

I am lucky enough to be married to my best friend, and we're still newlyweds (only married 10 months). My husband is addicted to sports, and more importantly, Fantasy Football. His life, and therefore, our life, revolves around sports. If it's not Michigan football, the NFL, or fantasy football, then it's hockey, baseball, tennis, golf and sometimes poker. We even had to plan our wedding around the University of Michigan football season! I learned early on that if I was going to have any chance of competing for his attention during football season, I better learn something about his affliction... I mean addiction.

I'm not completely out of the loop when it comes to sports; I've always been a casual fan. However, I have not completely submerged myself into the Fantasy World like my husband has. My goal is to help wives like me cope with their husbands' constant need to be glued to the television and/or internet during Fantasy Season. There are 135 days to go until Super Bowl XLIV, and more importantly 135 days until I can get my husband back. That is until hockey playoffs come around.

I am an attorney and just like I have to do with the practice of law, I have to find solutions that we can both live with in our marriage. I have found that learning a little bit about Fantasy Sports is a great way to improve our relationship and get him to compromise and spend time doing things other than watch football. And this was a challenge. When I first heard about Fantasy Sports it sounded really silly to me. It seemed like my husband and his buddies got together and acted like little boys. They use "smack talk" and insult each other and they think it's hilarious. They have even gone so far as to emasculate each other by referring to each other with names like Tonya, Christy and Natasha instead of Tony, Chris and Nate. I honestly didn't get it. It's bad enough that he sat and screamed at the TV when his team was losing but now with Fantasy Football he sits and screams and it doesn't matter which team is winning or losing, now it matters how his PLAYERS are doing, And how his Fantasy Team is doing against his opponent's Fantasy Team.

Here was my first question that drove me crazy: why is it that these guys spend hours and hours negotiating draft picks, then spend a few hours drafting players and then spend hours and hours negotiating trades of those picks?? This is what I learned: Before the draft, depending on your philosophy on where the players are going to go in the draft and depending on the league that you are in and the number of players at each position would depend on when you want to make your picks (in which rounds etc). After the draft, fantasy players may have a void on their fantasy team that needs to be filled so they trade players in positions that they have more players than they need for players in positions that are lacking.

This is what I really think: These guys need to feel like they're in control and that what they're doing is important :) Then they have buyers’ remorse and try to convince their friends that they have a deal that will "benefit both of them". Honestly, if someone is trading players it's because he wants someone new and is not satisfied with his (or her) team. It's not because he is looking out for your best interest. But regardless, the draft is a very important part of the fantasy experience.

I helped my husband with his fantasy draft this year by analyzing available players while other players were being drafted. This helped me learn who was on his team and who to look for during the game and make an effort to at least follow those players. And for all my hard work, I got an extra date night...dinner and an evening void of sports.

Tip for the week: Find out at least a couple of players on your husband's (or wife's) team. They will be impressed with your interest and may even attempt to get involved with something that you're doing that doesn't involve football. Bonus...you can have conversation that doesn't involve how many points you got for Drew Brees's touchdown passes...take what you can get for now!

- Hayley Rosner

Women Against Fantasy Sports "Respond" to Jordan

On Wednesday, our newest SportsJudge writer Jordan Zucker (pictured here on the far left) wrote a brilliant article explaining why the group "Women Against Fantasy Sports" is completely misinformed. The WAFS have issued an "interesting" response. However, our court rules in favor of Jordan.

Stay turned next week for more from Jordan on the WAFS, and why women should love fantasy football.

And, also, my sincere apologies for Chris Carmona's recommendation of the Jets defense this week. We believe the rest of his weekly picks will fare much better.

Women Against "Women Against Fantasy Football"

Hello everyone. I am Jordan Zucker, commissioner of an all-female fantasy football league, host of Girls’ Guide to Fantasy Football, and a fervent advocate of the NFL. It has come to my attention that there is a group of women coming together to protest the so-called evils of fantasy football. I am here to set the record straight.

Fantasy football is the most brilliant of inventions. It combines pro sports, friendly camaraderie, stat research, gut intuition, and results to look forward to every Sunday. When I was first asked to provide a rebuttal in response to WAFS (Women Against Fantasy Sports), I was immediately enraged and went straight for the jugular. I wanted to refute the grievances and disparage the atrocities of these proclaimed “fantasy widows” who would criticize and condemn this amazing sport.

Then, of course, I took a hot shower to wash off the disgust, lathered myself in lotion (I am such a sucker for toiletries), poured myself a bourbon to relax, and did a little research on my new nemesis. As it turns out, these women aren’t exactly the enemy. The WAFS organization is not saying they are necessarily against the entire industry; they are just against their husbands being overly consumed with it. In fact, some of the women are sports fans as well.

OK, I will agree that being involved in 10 leagues can be considered overboard, but obsessions and addictions of all natures are dangerous. And yes, it is helpful to provide a place for people to share in their struggles, i.e. I Hate Cilantro.com offers a haiku page for fellow victims of the herb to vent their frustrations, just as the WAFS forum exists for women to gripe about their lives.

That said, the biggest flaw I found with the WAFS is this: if you are in a relationship where you feel you are playing second fiddle to the football league, fantasy sports is NOT the problem – it is just the symptom.

Here are a few other bones of contention where I felt they fell short:

WAFS showcases an issue from a woman who yammered: “My husband made a fantasy trade on our wedding night when he pretended to check on an airline flight.” Puh-lease!!! So what? How is that a big deal? Realistically, how long did it take him to do this, maybe 15 minutes at the most? The fact that he had to sneak this trade from you is a red flag in the first place. Don’t be so self-centered to think you have to be his only passion. Seriously, that would be too much pressure on both ends of the equation. Besides, if needy women who whine about not getting enough attention make my stomach turn, one can only imagine how their husbands must feel.

One of the philosophies on the site argues “a true football fan picks one team and only roots for and watches football when that team is playing.” WHAT?!?! A true fan will soak in as much of the sport that is out there! What if your team wasn’t the one involved in a game that had the day’s best action?!?! Besides, you can always root for your team to get the win and your individual opposing player to get the yards. Those interests are not at all mutually exclusive.

I don’t think it is right for people to be judged on how to be a fan. If you find fantasy ridiculous, then don’t play it. Obviously, the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” approach is going to fall on deaf ears here. If you are downright opposed to playing the game yourself (why?), that is fine. Go ahead and watch your one game without switching the channels.

But WAFS, really? What's next? A website for men called "I Thought My Wife Married Me, Not Oprah?" No, because men are perfectly capable of keeping themselves occupied. So, I highly recommend you to find something else that you are passionate about, something that is so intriguing that you want to excel at it and spend time on it. If you can respect this, then you can congratulate your partner for finding something that makes him (or her) happy, because you can share in the same gratifying personal achievement.

WAFS claims that fantasy sports can make husbands “hollow shells of former selves” and turn them into “fantasy-obsessed junkies.” Well, some people are workaholics. Some people are lazy and aimless. Know what kind of man you chose before you decide to bear his children that you were hoping he would help you raise. Of course, being out of hand is a bad thing, but would you rather the habit be something less benign? An affair or a drug habit would be much more detrimental. Fantasy sports are relatively safe; they are stimulating. Count your blessings.

Basically, it comes down to this: If fantasy sports were able to make a man out of control and distant from his family, then something else was bound to do it eventually. Yes, obsessive behavior is unhealthy, but the perpetrator is not fantasy sports; it is just how the unfortunate problem manifested. In the meantime, be thankful he is happy. If you don’t want to share in his hobby, then find one of your own. Healthy relationships require personal space, support, compromise, concessions, and acceptances. Which means I personally have to get over your refusal to play. …Working on it.